TEA PARTY FUNDRAISER RAFFLE

5/12/2025

Picture of raffle tickets marked Health Gossip and Hard to Read

Announcing the HEALTH GOSSIP x HARD to READ TEA PARTY Fundraiser RAFFLE

🎟️ $3 for 1 ticket, $10 for 5

🎟️ Tickets available online (Venmo @hardtoread or Paypal) + at the event

🎟️ Buy tix for yourself! Buy for a friend!

🎟️ Full details on how to buy below

🎟️ All proceeds go to One Love Community Fridge and the COIN program Callen-Lorde, in honor of the late Cecilia Gentili


THE PRIZES:

🧼🫧 Soaps by Marisa Takal and Sessance Fragransi

🍽️🎨 Plate from On the Nose thanks to Brianna Capozzi and Maya Barrera

🫘📿 Peace Bean bracelet from Health Gossip & Lariat (Ping An bean, 925 silver beads, sheepskin cord)

🪡🤲 An acupuncture and cupping treatment, or a cupping and gua sha treatment for people who don’t want needles, from Yarrow Medicine, an acupuncture practice based in Brooklyn, rooted in accessible, trans-affirming care

🌄🖼️ Framed print by Paige Labuda (kelp shimmer Mavericks, 2024, 10 x 15 inches, c-print in aluminum frame)

✨🪐 30-min astrology session with Maison Stellati and Margaret Haines (the best!)

Pictures available here

Prizes will be drawn at the event

Even if you can’t come to the event, you can still play! Prizes can be picked up in NY (preferred) or we can ship within the US & internationally by request—we’ll need help covering shipping costs. (Astro session available from Anywhere!)

To buy tickets online:

🎟️ Venmo @hardtoread

🎟️ $3 for 1 ticket, $10 for 5!

🎟️ Include your name, email address, city location*, and phone number in the Venmo notes (send it PRIVATELY)

🎟️ Include your top 2 prizes in your notes!

🎟️ We’ll send you your digital ticket(s) & be in touch if you WIN

*If you win and can’t be in Brooklyn for the body work, we’ll make sure you get a different prize so let us know📍

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Eight Years of Hard to Read

9/9/2024

Moon at Jamieson Webster with Divided in the Wall Street Atrium
Moon at Jamieson Webster with Divided in the Wall Street Atrium

Hard to Read launched eight years ago with Natasha Stagg and company at the Standard, Downtown LA. Since then, we've presented close to one hundred events, exhibitions, and book collections, with associated publications. This past February, Hard to Read went on hiatus. I needed a break after Cecilia passed away. We'll be back soon though, the wheels are turning.

With Hard to Read's 8th anniversary coming up this October, I've been looking back on our October event past. Thanks to everyone who made these happen x

COOKIE MUELLER with ARIELLE DE SAINT PHALLE and company at the Roxy

Jim Jarmusch reading Cookie Mueller
Jim Jarmusch reading Cookie Mueller

JAMIESON WEBSTER and Divided Press in the now demolished Wall Street Atrium (also pictured above)

Jamieson Webster
Jamieson Webster

TIERNEY FINSTER hosting LOTUS LAIN, JIZ LEE, and MILCAH HALILI at Pillow Talk in the Penthouse of the Standard, Downtown LA (not pictured)

HARMONY HOLIDAY hosting KIDS on JAZZ and POETICS at El Centro

Craft time at JAZZ and POETICS
Craft time at JAZZ and POETICS

PIPPA GARNER at Pillow Talk in the Penthouse of the Standard, Downtown LA (not pictured)

DUETS where MARISA TAKAL, MATT HILVERS, and ALAKE SHILLING made art cakes

Matt Hilvers, Marisa Takal, Alake Shilling
Matt Hilvers, Marisa Takal, Alake Shilling

NOUR MOBARAK, SADAF, SER SERPAS AND FLANNERY SILVA on voice in the Standard, Downtown LA's pink, plush lobby (not pictured)

And our very first: NATASHA STAGG with JASMINE NYENDE, AMALIA ULMAN, and TIERNEY FINSTER

Natasha Stagg
Natasha Stagg
image
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Groupchat x Document

5/14/2024

Documentation of our Groupchat event is on DOCUMENT JOURNAL now (thank you Drew and Maya). Follow the link for words and pictures of Cecilia Gentili, Johanna Lee Owen, Joy James, M.E. O'Brien, Pilar Maschi, and Elena Comay del Junco...

Here are more photos - polaroids by Vivien Lee, the rest Sandeep Salter x

Chase and Hallie
Chase and Hallie
Adjua, Pilar, and Sandeep
Adjua, Pilar, and Sandeep
Johnny
Johnny
SoiL
SoiL

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Johanna Lee Owen's Groupchat reading

4/1/2024

The following text was presented by Johanna Lee Owen at Groupchat:

So what’s the worst that could happen if our material world evaporates out of our reach? If our material means of ritual vanish don’t you think we might all go insane? Or can rituals all be transposed into purely symbolic forms- for example, if I need a vase for my ritual, but there is no possible way to obtain a vase in my circumstances, does it suffice to simply imagine a vase in my head? I mean these are the questions we really have to consider if we are going to enter a purely virtual reality.

Theologians really will be confronted with problems like: can communion be taken virtually?

At some level I recognize an underlying need for ritual and “order” (which is mainly arbitrarily designated based on individual) across the entire human population. Who doesn’t know the feeling of being taunted by that lack of some component we are familiar with in our day?

Most people, I would think, have some demand for their burials to go a certain way. We imagine that our souls need some kind of particular ceremony to pass on in the correct way. Or maybe we just find some form of burial dignified and others not. So what consideration do we give to incomplete resolution of death? That is, people who never received the funeral their religion ascribed to them, or who were never found, never put to rest, never identified, whose remains were disturbed, whose souls were dishonored? What profound effects does the material world have on the spiritual world- and if the answer is “none,” then why do we bother with these processes meant to put us in touch with “The other side” at all (what is it doing for us- what is “grieving”)?

Necropolitics, Foucault definition of biopolitics - the power complex no longer wants to kill because it became haunted (trope of both George Bush and Biden “haunted” by the children they killed around the world). If they can keep the oppressed alive indefinitely but also oppressed indefinitely, then they never have to deal with being haunted. Every time an unresolved death happens, an unjust death, a ghost is made- in this way the balance of the spiritual order avenges material reality. These powerful politicians and corporate leaders around the world are knowledgeable about the occult order- we know this for plenty of reasons. It is the religions and spiritual paradigms they follow that outline how this works- they know they are either- going to hell, being attacked by angry spirits, or, because of their actions, have a soul that will travel the world for the rest of time deprived of rest. I think it caught on to them that if they really want total power, they have to not only carve things out for themselves in this life but in the next life and “on the other side” also. They don’t want martyrs, they want invalids who never die. They want to leave people disabled instead of dead. For these reasons, they both seek to live forever and to keep their slaves alive forever as well. It is related, but in some way also the exact opposite, of emperors who buried their slaves alive in the pyramids so they could be served in the next life.

IG Post late 2023:

When the girl you planned to bury alive with you in your viking grave so that she can serve as your sex slave in Valhalla starts running her mouth.

This is part of a formulation that gives new meaning to “fuck, marry, kill.” - sometimes it’s not about the people you want to run after, but the ones you want to take down with you.

I have a tattoo on my solar plexus which reads, “If you’re hard then why aren’t we fucking.” This started as a genuine plea to an unrequited love, a kind of action that acknowledged itself as self-rejecting (futile?) from the start (getting a tattoo, of course, was much less invasive— some kind of immediate acceptance of rejection— than passing a handwritten note). And then it became an acknowledgement of it’s own inappropriateness- “If you’re hard, then why aren’t we fucking-” Eventually, fans of the tattoo seemed to see it as the opposite of what it was when I originally wrote the slogan. People liked it as a rejection of an aggressive suitor- “If you want to be with me- ask yourself why we aren’t together….” The hint seems to lie in some kind of “It’s you, not me” scenario. Becoming married in-cemented the new meaning of the tattoo that it had taken on, as a kind of permanent rejection of any other lovers (but in this it was revealed to be a double-edged sword, retaining only a certain meaning for one but not others and meaning the opposite in all other instances). What the tattoo has ultimately morphed into, is something about the relationship I have with whoever finds or examines my body when I die. Now all I think about when I see it… When I’m staring down at the slight flab on my belly as I’m drying out from the shower- is what it will mean to the person who finds or treats my body after I die. I wonder if it ever could incite some necrophilic act on my dead body, or even cause me to be murdered (I assume probably not). But mostly I just wonder what the person or people who find my body will think of me, and laugh about the fact that I won’t care.

On lack:

Intermediate form of grieving I’ve become interested in to understand the mourning of passing on:

“Phantom limb syndrome is a condition in which patients experience sensations, whether painful or otherwise, in a limb that does not exist. It has been reported to occur in 80-100% of amputees, and typically has a chronic course, often resistant to treatment.”

“Phantom limb pain occurs after an amputation.”

-phantom garments - virginia woolf - weighted clothing and therapeutic weighted blankets. When I wear my glasses or sunglasses for long enough, I start to feel the impression of them always there even when they are not.

On spiritual rituals pertaining to the dead:

-rituals to restore souls that have not been laid to rest (ghosts)- Christian exorcisms- other forms of exorcism?

-Hmong dab soul-stealing spirits and spirit restoring rituals

-seances

On futuristic mass insanity scenarios:

-12 monkeys quote on keeping time

On the relationship of death to virtual reality:

-digital graves

-multiple contexts of AI imagined as a way for the dead to be reanimated or speak to us through “the machine” - particularly popular trope in anime (more positive or esoteric imagining of this trope) and sci-fi (more dystopian): Pico Iyer business conference notes, “Ghost in the Machine,” “Serial Experiments Lain”, “Upload”, “Black Mirror”

On events in which people were not given proper burial due to ecological and social disasters:

-extinction of vultures due to cattle vaccines → extinction of dakhma burial ritual which relies on vultures

-other examples in which the extinction or other ecological barriers to natural resources have fundamentally changed the material nature of rituals in which those materials relate to some kind of spiritual process or belief- how does this fundamentally alter the effect of the ritual or what are the ways belief evolves/addresses a lack of these resources in the ritual system

-vietnam war. Children shot for crying to save their entire families while on the run in the forest. Excerpts from “when the spirit catches you you fall down.” magnitude of bodies left in the forest when this violated their belief.

-In Palestine:

Mosab Abu Toha -

“Just for a moment, think about yourself in Gaza getting killed in an airstrike, your body has nothing in it that tells who you are. You are left in a street for days and weeks. Your body starts to decompose. When people reach you, it’s too late, they won’t know who you are. They wrap you in a plastic bag, bury you in a yard somewhere away from your home. Even your family won’t know whether you are still alive or not. They won’t even know where you are buried. This HAUNTS me. JUST FOR A MOMENT.”

“In Gaza a mother collects her daughter’s flesh in a piggy bank hoping to buy her a grave on a river that has no bank.”

Components to bombs that are lethal besides the blast:

-pressure from blast wave

-heat/burns

-shrapnel

-chemicals

-purposefully auxiliary harmful components

-rubble

-”Modernization” of funerary rituals- how is the marketplace influencing decisions people make about burial and what options is it introducing. Reference: Madeleine Andersson work on toilets as a pinpoint for “optimization culture”

-Celebrations of Death Peter Metcalf - information on how anthropologists view this issue. Specifically chapter on American sociological aspects.

On climate change (not sure if this will play in- will have on hand as a thought):

-I do not see the necessity of convincing people of global warming as an ecological concept per se when all of the elements of pollution that play into global warming are readily available examples of an unhealthy relationship with nature which violate ancient notions of the relationships between human and nature and the benefit of maintaining healthy surroundings. That is, greenhouse gasses are in themselves pollution, heat waves, cold snaps, and natural disasters are forms of pollution, every traditional concept of pollution such as trash or smog are so inherently related to global warming that even if people are only concerned with limited aspects of their experience of the environment these are all still direct inroads to healthy ecological practices. Do we need to come up with a new concept of environmental care around the climate change regime or is the problem more simply that we have abandoned our original values relating to our environment? By which I mean our literal surroundings.

-Synthetic chemical change contributions to global environmental change are just as concerning as fossil fuels. Everything plays together

Potential incorporations/will have on hand:

-human scum piece listing various form of “scum” i have had on me at some point in life, how closeness to these forms of compounds makes one feel like “human scum”

Follow Johanna Lee Owen here

You can more on Groupchat in Document Journal soon

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Cookie Mueller at the Roxy with Arielle de Saint Phalle

11/3/2023

Arielle de Saint Phalle and Nan Goldin, 2023
Arielle de Saint Phalle and Nan Goldin, 2023

Congratulations again to Arielle de Saint Phalle on her amazing Cookie Mueller Hard to Read at the Roxy. You can read a write up on Document Journal. And you can still donate and support de Saint Phalle's Cookie documentary GARDEN OF ASHES by making a tax-deductible donation here.

Diamond Stingily and Stephen Ostrowski
Diamond Stingily and Stephen Ostrowski
Ike, Max Mueller and Penny Arcade
Ike, Max Mueller and Penny Arcade
Jim Jarmusch and Sierra Pettengill
Jim Jarmusch and Sierra Pettengill
Karma Books
Karma Books
Sara Driver and Chloe Griffin (author of Edgewise)
Sara Driver and Chloe Griffin (author of Edgewise)
Linda Yablonsky
Linda Yablonsky
David and the crowd
David and the crowd
Fiona Alison Duncan
Fiona Alison Duncan
Max Blagg
Max Blagg

Thanks to all our readers and attendees <3

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Save the Date: October 22

9/21/2023

Cookie Mueller reading in a photo by Tom Bessoir
Photo credit: Tom Bessoir

Our next live event will be on Sunday October 22nd at 5pm. This is a very special ticketed event with limited seating. Program details coming soon. Hint: Cookie.

"Hard" Patreon subscribers get first dibs on tickets, so consider becoming one. New on Patreon this month is Fern Cerezo III's essay from our event in Martine Syms' show LOOT SWEETS, among other goodies.

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Act Like You Know Me

8/23/2023

Cover of Pippa Garner's Act Like You Know Me book

A new book by and about one of Hard to Read's mainstays, Pippa Garner, co-edited by H2R's founder, Fiona, is available now for pre-order.

For decades, the artist formerly known as Philip Garner has satirized American-style consumerism, reifying the joys of everyday life and personal liberation along her way. With her prankish sense of humour and conceptual dedication to experimental engineering, she has altered materials of mass production—from Fordism through the pharmacopornographic era—subverting commercial binaries to reveal the transitory nature of material life and her own transpersonal identity.
ACT LIKE YOU KNOW ME is Pippa Garner’s first survey monograph, collecting fifty years of her transdisciplinary art practice, from the late 1960s to the early 2010s, through photography, illustration, ephemera, and writing. Joining Garner’s own voice are witnesses and supporters—Glenn O’Brien, Nancy Reese, Ralph Rugoff, and Hayden Dunham, among them—as well as contemporary, award-winning authors Shola von Reinhold, Dodie Bellamy, and Fiona Alison Duncan.
Edited by Duncan and Maurin Dietrich (director of the Kunstverein Munich), ACT LIKE YOU KNOW ME is published by Bakri Bakhit's Bierke Books in cooperation with Kunstverein Munich, Kunsthalle ZĂźrich, FRAC Lorraine, and and White Columns. With design by HIT.

Order yours today.

Pippa Garner pink business card
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Summer for Summer

8/1/2023

Analisa Teachworth reading
Donna Haraway

Hard to Read will be back with more live events in the fall.

Until then, we've archival hits from summer events past on our Patreon, including:

a full event video ft. incredible readings by ANALISA TEACHWORTH and HAYDEN DUNHAM, as well as Milos Trakilovic, Jonas Wendelin (who brought us all together), Fiona Alison Duncan and Chase Bell, July 2020 (video)
BRONTEZ PURNELL's iconic July 2017 reading at the Standard, WeHo (Brontez emerges from the pool naked like the Little Mermaid, takes us on a trip to the bathroom, then reads from her beautiful books Since I Laid My Burden Down and Johnny Would You Love Me If My Dick Were Bigger published by the Feminist Press and Michelle Tea <3) (audio)
Two poems by CLARISSA EBIGWU as read at July 2022's event with Eckhaus Latta, NY (pdf)
Snippets from Matt Doyle's work with RICHARD HERTZ's Jack Goldstein & the Cal Arts Mafia from July 2018 - forthcoming!
Fiona Alison Duncan interviewing DONNA HARAWAY at Navel x Hard to Read back in August 2018 (full video) - forthcoming

Subscribe today and support Hard to Read. See you live in the fall.

Poem by Clarissa Ebigwu

Pictured, from the top: Analisa Teachworth reading, Donna Haraway talk, Clarissa Ebigwu poem

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June for June

6/23/2023

Dear angels,

Want more Hard to Read? By subscribing to our Patr*on, you'll make more events possible while gaining access to our six year archive of event + exhibition materials. This June, we've assembled a collection from June events past + present, including...

Asya Ulanova reading at New York Life Gallery
Asya Ulanova reading at New York Life Gallery
Cyrus Dunham and Cruz Mendez at CONSENT EVENT
Cyrus Dunham and Cruz Mendez at CONSENT EVENT
Belleza y Felicidad
Belleza y Felicidad
Fuck U Pay Us at Activisms!
Fuck U Pay Us at Activisms!


MAKE OUR DAY. BE OUR PATRON.

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Unpublished Eve Babitz

5/28/2023

Eve Babitz answers question number four, 2018

In 2018, I was asked to interview Eve Babitz for The White Review. We began a correspondence via Babitz's agent. We got through a first round of questions before her agent realized what a White Review interview entails: they are long, and detailed. It was said that Babitz couldn't accommodate this and the correspondence was cut short. Here, for the first time are Babitz's answers to my first nine questions.

Sign up for Hard to Read's Patreon for access to the full interview and to support future Hard to Read events and publications.

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Pippa Garner is Hard to Read

2/22/2023

Black and white self-portrait of the artist Pippa Garner, pictured nude with a mechanical arm brace, circa 1997
Un(tit)led (Self-Portrait in Hospital with Mechanics), circa 1997

Pippa Garner has been taking me away from Hard to Read. She’s had me traveling in Europe. In two of those destinations, we held a reading. This was a way to bring Pippa’s voice into the exhibition venue, through her writing, which was voiced by others since she’s been too sick to travel. Serving as an advocate for and curator of this artist, as well as her biographer and the editor of a forthcoming monograph (Shola von Reinhold is writing for it), is related to what I do with Hard to Read, in that it’s deepening my sense of what it means to work through others, with others, and for others. Pippa herself can be hard to read in that she is paradoxical and tricksy, offering a distorted mirror/void that can be alarming to look into. When triggered, reading (texts.. one another..) accurately becomes difficult. Is she this pain I am feeling? Then comes a salve, usually through humor; that’s Pippa. Daniel Baumann, the director of the Kunsthalle Zürich, was right to point out there’s this deep melancholy to Pippa’s work...

SUBSCRIBE TO HARD TO READ'S PATREON TO READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE INCLUDING EXCLUSIVE UNPUBLISHED WRITINGS BY AND ABOUT PIPPA GARNER

For more on Pippa, check out Pillow Talk's 2018 "talk show" with her and our Comedy of Erros group show inspired by her.

Here's an essay/review in Vogue; a long biographical text produced for the KM show; Brit Barton's review in Texte zur Kunst; and Hayden and Pippa's Interview. A clandestine pdf of Phillipa Snow's amazing essay is behind our Patreon paywall. Look for an interview with Pippa by Hans Ulrich in the forthcoming issue of Autre.

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Organization & Six

12/13/2022

I first met psychoanalyst and author Jamieson Webster in mid-summer 2018 when I was hosting Hard to Read on Montez Press Radio. Jamieson has since agreed to participate in three strange Pillow Talks, even when the event was random, or perilous.

There was this moment at our most recent event when I realized the artificial palm trees in 60 Wall Street’s atrium were drought-proof. I had visited the atrium many times before but it was only once Jamieson had activated the space with her associative play that it became clear that I had chosen this location with its palm trees, expansive ceilings, pale sparkle, and dusty abandon because it reminds me of Los Angeles, where Hard to Read was born out of a need for community and to make writing feel less deadening...

SUBSCRIBE TO HARD TO READ'S PATREON TO READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE

Jamieson Webster, Fiona Alison Duncan, Moises, and unknown in 60 Wall Street atrium
Photo by nurse Asya

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We'd Still Rather Be Free

11/11/2022

Welcome to the Hard to Read blog! My first post is a repost of a 2018 article once on Sex Magazine. This article documents the second ever Pillow Talk event, a femme-centered consciousness raising circle on critical responses the "Me Too" movement. I was looking back on this article while developing Pillow Talk's latest CONSENT EVENT, a panel discussion and party with confessionals that scholar Esra Soraya Padgett and I co-directed and co-hosted earlier this year. I wanted to republish and boost this coverage of We'd Rather Be Free, Pillow Talk's first, 2018 event on the subject (featuring a pre-Red Scare Dasha, we were roommates..) as an accompaniment to the CONSENT EVENT content. They go together. hannah baer and I are in both. Re-read what Paula Graciela Kahn shares in the second half please.

The following article was originally published on Sex Magazine's "Sex Life" blog:

PILLOW TALK: WE’D RATHER BE FREE (NOTES AND VIDEOS)

FEBRUARY 16 2018 1:14 PM

Photo of a hand with hand written notes from the event, one note says "active empathy," another reads "non profit industrial ocmplex"
Tierney Finster's manicure and notes

On Thursday, February 8th, 20-odd femme identified and allied persons gathered in the penthouse suite of The Standard, Downtown LA to discuss sex, gender, power, violence, abuse, colonialism, scarcity, and the possibility of restorative justice. Among us were activist and programmer Alice Barker (of support.fm); writer and sex educator Ana Cecilia Alvarez; artist Amalia Ulman; activist and writer Cyrus Simonoff (also with support.fm and the California Coalition for Women Prisoners); actress Dasha Nekrasova; writer, bookseller, and organizer Fiona Alison Duncan; net artist and activist hannah baer; queer academic Jane Ward; poet, erotic writer, and anti-violence advocate Larissa Pham; social justice organizer Paula Graciela Kahn; sex writer, filmmaker, and model Tierney Finster; and photographer Vivian Fu. This 3-hour event, titled “We’d rather be free,” was conceived and organized by Duncan as part of her new monthly sex, love, community, and communication event series, Pillow Talk. The following is a collection of selected notes and quotes from the event, plus videos from our pre- and post- talk livestream. More takeaways can be read on The Standard Culture.

Fiona Alison Duncan, note: If you like the work we’re doing here, please consider donating to our cause of the month: FreeFrom, a local LA org that helps survivors of domestic abuse gain financial independence and stability, cause resource dependence is so much of why and how we get and stay in abusive relationships.

Dasha Nekrasova in pre-talk livestream, quote: Basically every dangerous or potentially abusive situation...

SUBSCRIBE TO HARD TO READ'S PATREON TO READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE

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